HOLLYWOODSCRIPT.COM CONTEST WINNER
Date: 11/25/05
Title: "OBITUARY"
Author: Joanne Wannan
Submitted by: Joanne Wannan
Submitted to: Hollywoodscript.com
Format: SP
Pages: 119
Draft
Time: Present
Locale: Minnesota
Genre: Thriller
Analyst: Hollywoodscript.com
QUICK COMMENT--A killer script!!
PREMISE: A frustrated, high-strung
reporter, who is delegated to writing an
obituary column, begins receiving obituaries of people BEFORE they
are brutally
murdered. When she receives her OWN obituary, she must summon all
her resources
- physical, emotional, and even sexual - if she is to survive.
SYNOPSIS: Denise Wilson is high-strung, nervous, and intense. "You
have to
learn to cope," her mother tells her. "And if you can't
cope, at least learn to
pretend."
Denise has spent most of her life struggling to do just that. Now
28, she works
sixteen hour days writing an Obituary Column for The Tribune. Sequestered
away
in The Morgue - the dark, dusty catacombs of the newspaper building
where "dead"
files come to rest - she works her butt off, hoping for her big break.
When the editor of City Beat dies, Denise is convinced she will be
promoted.
She awkwardly approaches her boss, Roger Morgenstein, at the funeral. "Did
you
get my resume? A disgusted Roger brushes Denise off, and goes over
to talk to a
tall, dark, man standing on the periphery. When the man turns around,
Denise
freezes. It is Simon Castilla, her high school sweetheart. What is
he doing
back in town? And why is he here, at the funeral?
Late that night, Denise goes to a Chinese restaurant to pick up take-out
food.
While waiting for her order, she leafs through a pile of newspapers
on the
counter. A small article, similar to an obituary, catches her eye. "Melissa
Rutherford, age 26..." She is surprised to see an English name
in a Chinese
newspaper, but lets it pass.
Later, unable to sleep, Denise goes for a jog in Ramsey Park. Her
feet pound on
the trail, as rhythmic as a drumbeat. She passes a wall covered with
graffiti.
The glow from the streetlights pierce the fog, creating surreal shadows.
She's
cold and scared. A man, runs towards her. His face is hooded. He
comes
closer. Closer. His elbow bumps hers, as he runs past. Denise trips.
She
looks down. A woman's foot, barely visible, sticks out from under
the bushes.
Her stocking is ripped, her sole encrusted with dirt. Denise forces
her way
through the undergrowth. She reels. A woman's body lies in a clearing,
mangled
and bloody. Her eyes are rolled back in their sockets. Her face distorted
beyond recognition.
Denise faints.
When she comes to, Ramsey Park has been transformed with yellow police
tape,
sirens, flashing lights. Steadying herself, Denise pulls out a notebook
and
pencil, and begins making notes. A male voice interrupts her: "Excuse
me, I'd
like to ask you a few questions."
Denise looks up, and finds herself face-to-face with Simon. "What
the hell are
you doing here?"she demands. Simon points to the badge around
his neck. It
says Simon Castilla, City Beat. Denise stares at Simon, incredulous.
A moment
of extreme tension. Simon tries to break the silence. "Denny,
I'm sorry. If
there's anything I can do -" Denise cuts him off. "There
is something. Don't
call me Denny. No one's called me that since High School."
Denise decides to confront Roger. Denise: "Did you even look
at my resume?
Instead Simon just waltzes in here -" Roger quickly points out
Simon's stellar
qualifications. Denise tries another angle. "What if I assist?
At least on
this story? I could offer a unique perspective. After all, I found
the body."
Roger looks at her evenly. "Denise, you fainted."
Denise hunches over the computer in the morgue. Hammering out the
Obituary
column. Intense. Disgusted. Typing as if her life depended on it.
Luke, a gangly co-worker, comes in. "Hey, I heard you found
the chick in Ramsey
Park," he says. "I've never seen a dead person before.
Except my grandpa, and
he was embalmed and all that, so it wasn't the same thing." Denise
ignores
him. Luke starts to leave. "I just came by to tell you they
got an I.D. on the
body." Denise looks up. Luke: "The name was Rutherford.
Melissa Rutherford."
A shocked Denise races back to the Chinese restaurant. She tears
through the
discarded newspapers, frantically searching for the obituary she
saw. Mr. Lee,
the kindly owner, questions her. Is she sure she saw an English name?
In a
Chinese newspaper? "Miss Denise," he tells her. "Sometimes
when mind gets
tired, eyes play tricks."
Late at night, alone in the morgue, a pop-up flashes across the screen.
The
brightness startles an already stressed to the max Denise. Another
pop-up.
Then another. Denise leans back in her chair, rubbing her eyes. She
takes an
aspirin out of a bottle and swallows it without water. A message
appears on the
computer screen.
LORNA WOODS, AGE 24. ROSE GARDEN. OCTOBER 16...
Denise looks at the calendar. October 15. She scrolls to the bottom
of the
page and looks at the contact information. She picks up the phone
and dials. A
woman's voice answers. Lorna is in the shower; would you like to
leave a
message? Shaken and confused, Denise hangs up the phone. She looks
at the
computer screen, just as the message fades away. The next morning,
as Denise
flips through TV channels and sees a newsflash. A woman's body has
been found,
murdered. The woman's name: Lorna Woods.
Denise races to the Rose Garden. Detective Walker, a no-nonsense
cop, confronts
her. The murder was reported as happening at an undisclosed location.
How did
Denise know where it was?
Feeling alone and vulnerable, Denise reaches out to Simon for comfort.
But a
one-night stand creates more problems then it solves.
Denise becomes obsessed with the murders. She cuts out every newspaper
article
she can find. She makes charts and graphs of the evidence, and maps
out the
locations of the crimes. Her kitchen begins to look like a cross
between a
police investigation room and a shrine.
Based on some flimsy "evidence" she manages to locate,
Denise begins to suspect
that the murders may have something to do with an age-old cult that
worshipped
Kali, a Hindu goddess who became so bloodthirsty, she supposedly
began to
destroy those that she was supposed to protect. Suddenly her attention
is
diverted as a pop-up flashes across the screen. The greenish glow
from the
computer casts an eerie glow. The words, blurry at first, come into
focus.
CARL FOSTER, 49.
Denise decides to track down Carl Foster But when she discovers he
is not only
alive, but is a DOG as well, her problems intensify. Roger, who has
become
increasingly exasperated with her actions, as well as her diminishing
job
performance, fires her. Concurrently, Detective Walker does a background
check
and learns Denise suffered from a nervous breakdown in high school.
Denise
becomes a prime suspect in the investigation.
Meanwhile, Denise begins to suspect Simon is involved. Hoping to
find evidence
against him, she sneaks into his office at the newspaper building.
She finds a
high school yearbook on his shelf and leafs through it. It opens
to a dog-eared
page. Denise stares at the page in horror. Her photo has been scratched
out.
Across it, in felt pen, is the word BITCH.
Denise reels. She heads to the morgue to gather her belongings. As
she starts
to leave, she notices something dark and sticky on the floor. A trail
of blood.
Denise follows the trail to a closet. She grabs a flashlight, and
opens the
door. There, in the beam of light, is Carl Foster. His dead body
dangles from
heavy mechanical chains. Blood drips down his furry chest. Suddenly
the
computer turns itself on. The screen springs to life. A pop-up flashes
across
the screen. A red, Rorschach-like botch. The blotch mutates, changes.
A
spattering of blood- A lizard-Kali! Letters dance across the screen.
They form
words, fuzzy at first, then coming into focus. DENISE WILSON.
More letters appear, rhythmically, one after another. As if someone
is typing
them. Denise watches in horror as the letters spill onto the screen.
DATE OF
DEATH, OCTOBER 20. TONIGHT.
The writing continues. TIME OF DEATH, 11:59. Denise glances at the
clock.
11:54. She races to the door. It is locked. She wipes her sweaty
palms and
grabs a Xacto knife.
Denise reels. Someone is watching her. "Who are you? What do
you want?" She
glances frantically around the room. "Where are you?" Words
appear on the
screen. Slowly, menacingly.
I'M RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
Denise screams.
And Denise's terror has only just begun...
COMMENTS: In a word "OBITUARY" is
a damn good script. It's got everything you'd
want in a thriller. Tight, page turning writing. Lots of exciting
escalation,
surprises, a protagonist for whom you sweat bullets. Solid subsidiary
characters. Big scenes--blood and lust--the whole nine yards. And
it's scary!
It's the kind of material that everyone is looking for when seeking
a commercial
freight train of a story. Writer's a comer.
To contact writer directly: jwannan@telus.net
[Back
to Contest Winners]