Issue Three

IT'S THE STORY, STUPID!

MY FAVORITE "TRUTH" ABOUT SCREENPLAYS: If the story doesn't work, then the script won't work. If at any given time, your reader is not wondering, "What's going to happen next?"-you're in trouble. My experience as a script doctor/script consultant is that 90% of all problems are story based.

Let me put it this way - you can have great characters, it can be funny as hell or dripping with heartfelt pathos, you can create terrific scenes, you can have all the juicy bells and whistles, but, if the story doesn't make sense, if it's off, if it's hard to follow, then the script is not going to work and you're D.O.A.

One thing that is very prevalent in the majority of professional scripts is that, at minimum they make sense. The reason? Perhaps these writers have been beaten up enough by producers and agents to fear the infamous and sorry words, "I don't get it." Perhaps after many bruises, they've made it their business to employ a little birdie who sits on their shoulder constantly whispering, ''are they going to understand this?" "How can I say this using fewer words?" "Is there a stage direction that will give it more clarity?" The ultimate test, "Would Uncle Charlie understand this after three Buds?"

These writers know the consequences of ambiguity. A producer spending his or her time desperately trying to figure what's happening is not going to be a friend in court.

WHAT'S A GOOD STORY? There are many definitions. Mine would be, "something that rings true, that's important and is worth telling."
It's also has to be ABOUT something. Even the silliest lowball comedy should have a reason to be.

"Of course," you may say.

Well, I've read plenty of scripts lacking theme and the experience is often equivalent to having had a big meal and still feeling hungry. Experience has told me that SOUL is missing.

STORIES ARE COMPOSED OF SCENES, perhaps a hundred in a given screenplay. They serve two purposes: to further the plot and also to provide intrinsic entertainment value.

Good writers slave over the creation of scenes, big and small. It's not enough that the sensational climax is intact, or that the heavy-duty love scene or the ultimate confrontation hit the mark. All scenes need to be layered, well crafted, deeply thought out, and should emanate from a place of both inspiration and sound strategy.

WHAT'S A BAD STORY? I heard this definition somewhere-- a bad story is a "long lie that after a while, even you don't believe."

How does that happen? How do well-intentioned writers end up writing long lies? It usually happens when we don't spend the time doing the spade work, when we haven't thought things through. AND WHEN INSTANT GRATIFICATION TO GET THE SCRIPT FINISHED DOMINATES THE PROCESS.

Here's my theory on this,
--writers love to write and hate to prepare. Proof: go to any writers' building on studio lots in California. You'll find that writers are rarely in their offices unless they're actually writing something. The reason being: you don't get writer's "high" doing prep work, you get writer's "low." So they lurk in the hallways and "brainstorm" with their fellow discontents.
Reasons for hating prep work-
*We don't "get it" right away.

*We think that we should.

*It depresses us.

Besides jumping the gun on the actual writing, how else do writers get off track?

Some personal favorites: (not necessarily in order of importance)

*Wanting to be hip, they write their script in "lingo." Mumbles, half sentences, parsed words. They think they're being cool. Be cool. But we owe it to our audience to be understandable.

*Writers, who are junkies for violence, contraptions and tech/gimmickry often forget to tell the tale. There's an audience for hardware and fists but it must be mounted on the solid spine of a functional story.

*There are those who have the gift of humor. They write funny. But the joke is not enough. They have not taken the time to figure out the tale. Humor will only enhance a script. Whether consciously or unconsciously, the ball that the audience is following is the "STORY BALL" not the "joke ball."

*Often, a hot sounding idea just doesn't have the legs to be an entire movie. When this faulty avenue is pursued, all kinds of unpleasant things can happen. Stories begin to fizzle. I've read scripts where writers start new stories in the third act because they've run out of story in the second act. Doesn't work.

*Writers can be too truthful. Yes, that's right. Some writers feel that they must tell the whole truth and nothing but. They fail to realize that movies are not real life. Real life is filled with boring passages, repetition and ambiguity. A good story should seem like real life, and it may embrace the footprints of real experience, but it's shaped by theatricality. "Simple reality is not enough, you need a touch more."

*Writers run short on patience and begin to contrive, often throwing in something sensational or salacious. The temptation is very keen to "fill in" when you run short on solid ideas. But as someone once said, "the moment you throw something in that doesn't belong in the story solely for the sake of appealing to some imagined reader, who you think wants a bit more sex or sentimentality, at that moment your story dies a little and becomes more of a lie."

*Another unhappy staple of disaster is the protagonist who goes through Hell but never seems to break an honest sweat. This happens a lot. Intense pressure on your hero in an atmosphere of conflict will help keep your story mobile and entertaining. Keep checking to make sure that this in fact is happening.

*"Petty" misunderstoods, sloppy "little" mistakes and misdemeanors which will soon add up to felonies and rejection.

There are additional pitfalls. Many writers just haven't developed the skills to properly execute a script (yet).
Examples:
*Gross exposition, particularly in the beginning of the script where most of the exposition normally is slotted.

*Lack of economy. There are many writers who think that they have to tell you everything about everything. Great ideas get buried in massive verbiage. Notice how economically written most pro scripts are. Less is usually better.

*Writing "on the nose." (ie: stating the obvious)

WHERE DO GREAT STORIES COME FROM?

Certainly not from willfulness and marketing schemes.

It comes from the best part of you.

Author/teacher Julia Cameron puts it this way, "Art is an act of tuning in and dropping down the well. It is as though all the stories, painting, music performances in the world live just under the surface of our normal consciousness. Like an underground river, they flow through us as a stream of ideas that we can tap down into ...when I teach screenwriting I remind my students that their movie already exists in its entirety. Their job is to listen for it, watch it with their mind's eye and write it down."

A twist on this--"No persistent image should be ignored, especially if it touches you."

Ghost and The Sixth Sense obviously came from a ferocious spiritual consciousness.

Thelma and Louise emanated from a passionate feminism reflecting both rage and reality.

The Godfather was born in a hot place from a writer who knew the terrain. It obviously both fascinated and repelled him.

What are your inspirations? What do you know about?

Now the real work begins. Where do you start? Where do you end? What happens in the middle? Who are the characters? Ask yourself, how can I tell this story really well? How can I create scenes that are as memorable as the overall story I'm writing? How willing am I to resist actually writing the script until I'm ready?

More next issue.

(The above article will be published in the one-year anniversary
edition of ScreenTalk - The Journal of International
Screenwriting Vol. 1, #6 -- 1999.
http://www.screentalk.org/ezine.htm)

A NOTE FROM THE LAB (by JUDY KELLEM, daughter and associate)

WHY WRITE?

I've spent my twenties asking this question. It keeps me in check before
the world. I ask as others pursue clearly paved careers or find fulfillment
in hobbies, relationships and the security of a job. I ask from my subway
seat as a parade of possibilities for experiencing one life moves past me,
as the loneliness and challenge of being streams by in myriad forms. And
as I sit, overcome with melancholy and awe contemplating the universe
beneath all those faces, I am reminded of a great film or a life altering book. The luck and misfortunes of the blessed and disenfranchised alike are brought together, as I laugh remembering a funny line or shiver with goose bumps recalling a heartbreaking scene. Then again, the need is confirmed.

Writing is alchemy. It is taking the base, raw resources of one's
existence, no matter how beautiful or ugly, honorable or humiliating and
making it valuable, turning it all into the gold of story.

ROLES LIST FROM COLIN

At http://www.moviescribe.com I have put together roles lists of the primary characters of a number of prime time TV shows.

Why should you care? A roles list is a resource for you if you want to
write an episode for a TV show that is currently airing. By having the names of the primary characters already set up, you have a good start on the organization you need to write your script. Yes, you are going to need to do a great deal of additional prep work, but some of the grunt work is already done.

Roles Lists Currently Online Include: Law and Order; Law and Order: Special Victims Unit; Norm; It's Like, You Know...; Third Watch; Oh, Grow Up; Two Guys and a Girl; and more to come!

HOLLYWOODSCRIPT.COM is proud to announce that there are two movies in production right now on which we originally consulted.

I RECEIVE LETTERS!!

1. A year ago, I got the idea of writing a screenplay about a young boy who discovers he can communicate with spirits. I had
just finished the final draft this past July when I was lying in bed one night and heard the awful words from the television..."I
can see dead people". You have no idea of the feeling that came over me. I felt like fate had played a cruel joke on me. Even
though my script isn't dark and is targeted for a PG audience, it certainly can't compete with this box office blockbuster.
Should I chalk it up to experience and move on to the next screenplay or believe in my dream while moving on to the next
screenplay?

REPLY

The good news is that your project resembles a huge hit. If it's different enough (or if you can adjust it) you can capitalize on
this. Hollywood loves movies that reminds it of blockbusters. I guarantee you that scripts (aping the Sixth Sense) are being
written right now. Yours is already written! Just make sure it's ready.

2. I am currently working on a script and need money to produce an indy film. I am considering submitting a "pitch" for
another story line to raise money for the indy film. My question is if there is anyway a studio would be interested in a "pitch"
and would be willing to pay for it. If so what does a "pitch" consist of?

REPLY

Sorry, you'll rarely get a pitch if you don't have real credits and if there's not already a demand for your services. New writers break in via completed spec scripts not pitches (ie verbal submissions of a new ideas).

3. In the last several months I've read that screenwriters over forty, even established ones, have a tough time getting anyone to
look at their work. What chances does a new screenwriting nearing forty (and a woman at that) have in today's market?

REPLY

I don't think that it has much effect on spec script sales. Scripts speak for themselves. However, age may begin to work against older
writers when they start to meet and pitch. Then Hollywood image freaks may see impending age as a sign of weakness.
However if the project is right, they'd buy a script from Whistler's Mother.

WHAT'S THE NUMBER 1 SECRET FOR SELLING A SCRIPT

MATERIAL THAT"S READY!!

If you surveyed the vast population of up and coming writers out there and asked them what they really, really needed, you'd find many share a common belief that if they were just able to find the right agent and/or producer then life would be wonderful and they'd be within inches of their quixotic goals.

Nice fantasy!

Are you ready for reality?

The truth is that agents and producers are important only AFTER the material is ready.

BUT MINE IS READY-HONEST!!!

More truth--most writers with a new project are pumped. They're convinced that their script is absolutely ready to be grabbed up. It rarely is--scripts usually need CRITICAL work. It's hard (for many writers) to see this themselves.

Now there are those who think that if their material is almost "there," then surely smart professionals in the biz will recognize the golden potential.

No way!.

It doesn't happen. You're lucky to get recognition for good work even when it's fully developed.

Material must be hot and and ready or you're wasting your time.

This is not bad news because it puts the control right back into your hands. Instead of spending your time wishing, hoping and lamenting, you can put that energy into making sure that your script is absolutely ready.

Good material eventually finds an audience. I really believe this! It may not happen on your exact timetable, but it does happen. The entire entertainment industry is predicated on this premise. Otherwise there would be no entertainment. Writers are not born with an automatic entree. Everyone has had to go through the drama of breaking in. Good material finds its place--count on it.

MORE FROM COLIN
=======================
Revised Software Story
=======================
Software Buyers Guide: Story Development Tools

Let me begin by saying a couple of things. First, we are NOT selling software in this newsletter and are not being compensated for plugging the software we are reviewing here.

Second, you should already have a program that formats your scripts for you but if not, I'll be doing a buyers guide on script formaters at a later date.

This buyers guide is a review of two "Story Development Tools": Writers Blocks and Story Craft.

What is a "Story Development Tool"? These tools help you prepare to write a script. They are great for helping you organize your story. They are great
for helping focus you as a writer. Where script formatting software helps you organize the format of your script, Story Development Tools help you organize and develop your story.

But keep in mind that these are only tools, not computerized screenwriters.
They will not write the story for you.

I have run the demos of both programs. In an ideal world, I would like to
have the full versions of both on my computer. Neither one does it all. Both
are helpful programs individually. Together, they really kick ass. I look at
these two products as complementary products as opposed to competitive
ones. Okay so $180 to buy both programs is a little pricey (although, to quote Ferris Bueller, "If you have the means available, I highly recommend picking one up").

Story Craft ($79 http://www.writerspage.com/)

This program uses the "Jarvis Method" of the five elements of fiction writing
(I) Concept, (II) Category, (III) Type, (IV) Components (Environment, Main
Players, and Helpers), and (V) Structure).

Here is how it works. Story Craft takes steps you thru the five steps of
the Jarvis method, asking you to make decisions about your story and
answer questions about your characters. At the end, you have a set of
very comprehensive notes to begin writing your story.

Story Craft helps provide a real structure for organizing characters and
how they fit into the story. The program incorporates many of Joseph Campbell's mythological approach to character and his view of the hero.

Story Craft does the best job of helping jump start ideas in terms of story
structure. It is also the leader if you are looking for a solid method to build
a story from the ground up, step by step.

Writers Blocks ($99 http://www.writersblocks.com/)

Writers Blocks is the winner if you are looking for a program to help organize your thoughts.

They also have some great celebrity endorsements from some top of the line story tellers (Wes Craven, Sharkey's Machine Author William Diehl).

Think of this program as a virtual index card system. The advantage is
that you can more easily organize and move your cards here than you can with paper.

In Writers Blocks you simply write out each element of your story in a "block." You can then easily rearrange the blocks to come out with a solid outline for your script.

During my demo, I used this program to break down the story arc of individual characters, with each block being a beat in the individual story.

Then, with beats of my major characters down solid, I was then able to have an outline of my entire story.

The Bottom Line: Both of these software packages are helpful. If you can
spare the cash, they are probably worth it and will only help your story.

DON'T THROW AWAY YOUR SCREENWRITING BOOKS BUT...

The rules and the shoulds of screenwriting can be harmful to your artistic health if misused. Allow me to explain. I often deal with writers who are so intimidated and programmed by the "books" that they can hardly get a word out of their mouths without refering to things like Intra Personal versus Inter Personal or "cinematic expression." It's hard to get into a good old conversation about something as basic as their story without hearing about their "inciting incident" or something equally inanimate. One can become a slave to the intellectual rap of whatever book they last read. My opinion is that while you should certainly learn the basics, once you get it all down, it needs to be put it in its proper place; beside the printer and the whiteout. The shoulds are merely tools. The name of the game is the, gulp...art. Ultimately, it's all about inspiration, storytelling, passion, expression-- and, there's that word again, art. It's not about form.
THE FORM IS THERE TO SERVE THE ART NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

A BENCHMARK FOR WRITING AN EFFECTIVE QUERY LETTER

Describe the movie the way you would if it were playing in a theater down the street and you were trying to get an apathetic friend to come see it with you. What would you say about the movie that would make her change her mind?

OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER RE YOUR QUERY; What actually happens in your story? What are a couple of the more tantalizing twists and turns. Any juicy surprises? What's the spark that makes it so special? What's the heart of it? What it about the project that excites you?

FYI, I just added a "fan letter" section to my site. Check it out--there are a lot of (brief but potent) testimonials from satisfied folks.

A COLORFUL EXAMPLE
Dear Craig-
I just finished listening to the tape you sent me.
I felt like Peter Graves waiting for the smoke to come pouring out of
his Sony recorder.
I f----- loved it! I'm seeing things I missed before. I don't want to
give you a woody but you definitely know your s---. Not that I agree
with everything you optioned, but the majority kicked a--.

Forgive the expletives; it's my fifth or sixth Bud.

FYI-I found a great website where you can obtain famous (and infamous) pro scripts. It's called Scriptshop.com. Some of these scripts are early drafts. You can read them and then see the finished movie and track the changes. Very empowering!

TIP. Common error --introducing a character in the narrative, ie: "Joe Blow is a 30 year old bricklayer who went to Harvard" and then a beat later the same character is introduced in dialogue--ie: "I'd like you to meet Joe Blow, the only bricklayer I know who went to Harvard." It may be correct "form" but it's redundant and not reader friendly. Introduce Joe in either the narrative OR in the dialogue. Not in both.

RULE OF THUMB--If, in the course of a screenplay Tom Dick and Harry need to be provided with the same info, tell Tom and when we get to Dick and Harry, let's assume that they've been told off camera.

TIP--Have you seen a program on Bravo called INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO? If you haven't, rush and turn it on. They have in depth, craft-oriented interviews with the likes of people like Steven Spielberg, Sidney Pollack and many other notables. This is the real thing. Their creative insights are priceless.

LEARNING SOMETHING FROM FRANK

I saw something interesting that I want to pass along. I was watching an obscure cable channel when I came across an old Frank Sinatra TV special. Now, like nearly everyone else, I've seen Sinatra a million times but this time I noticed that something was different. He was singing a song and ACTING OUT (in a very pronounced manner) EVERY single nuance of the song. It was like "method psychodrama." Every phase of the song had its own individual interpretation.

Each component was very pronounced and exaggerated.

Had he been drinking? I wondered. What was this all about?

Then something else struck me.

So this is how he does it, I thought!

It was obvious to me that he had done his homework on every inch of the song. He had found a way of interpreting everything, on both a physical and vocal level. Every inch was squeezed. Nothing was left to chance. He broke it all down to the bone, worked all avenues and then made it look so easy. God was I ever fascinated.

I flashed on screenwriting and what I try to communicate to my clients and students. In a good screenplay each beat has a purpose or it shouldn't exist. There are no throwaway moments or transitional scenes. Every component serves a profound purpose. Good screenwriters (like at least one good singer) know how to make every stroke of the pen count.

If you want to find out more about Hollywoodscript.com and the work we do with screenwriters and their scripts, please visit my site at http://www.hollywoodscript.com

Copyright 1999 Craig Kellem