HOLLYWOODSCRIPT.COM NEWSLETTER
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Welcome to the latest edition of the Hollywoodscript.com Newsletter, which is published by script consultants Craig Kellem, Judy Kellem
(http://www.hollywoodscript.com)
THIS NEWSLETTER IS NEVER SPAM.
You are receiving this newsletter because you expressed an interest in screenwriting by subscribing to this newsletter OR requested a read or a free query letter evaluation from Hollywoodscript.Com(s) Craig Kellem or Judy Kellem.
If you do not wish to receive this newsletter, please reply to this E-Mail and put the word "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line.
The purpose of this newsletter is to share information, ideas etc. concerning the fascinating (and elusive) world of screenwriting.
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THE ART OF CUTTING
Judy and I have written a couple of often badly needed articles extolling the virtues of economy in screenwriting. Here’s a small reminder--
“Less is almost always better in screenplays. Writing the "chateaubriand" of a scene is the name of the game, then cut away to the next fillet. Fat is a no no, a bit of gristle should be carefully doled out. Screenwriters in the know realize this and usually employ this philosophy and profit from it. But there are a boatload of scripts out there that are suffering from too much weight. Their stories are encumbered by so much rhetoric that it's hard to find the spine. If you can't find the spine, you can't find the story and that's bad news.”
But let’s say you’re like many screenwriting practitioners out there who haven’t received this message and that you’re sitting with an overweight manuscript begging to be reduced.
How is it done?
OK, first here’s how it’s NOT done. You don’t gratuitously cut a hunk of pages and declare victory. Don’t chuckle, that’s what many writers do when facing this dilemma. The need for instant gratification can sometimes produce some shoddy methods of crafting!
Cutting, trimming, tightening, and truncating, is an art.
Here’s our suggestion. The first step in healing anything is REALIZATION. So begin to realize once and for all that there’s value and beauty in good, tight writing. Over explaining, over describing, and falling in love with everything that you produce can be a huge mistake. A screenplay is not a textbook. It represents a cinematic event that you see just ONCE! Movies go fast. You don’t have the chance to review the material. The screenwriter needs to spit it out clear, crisp, and concise. It’s really empowering to know this.
Here’s a ‘one size fits all’ suggestion about reducing material:
Examine EVERY page of your script--one by one.
*Can you lose a word; a piece of dialogue; a hunk of exposition or whatever without getting a justifiable stomach ache?
*Be honest, is there a way to get into the scene a little LATER or get out EARLIER?
*Are there any redundancies? Remember, if you have to tell Tom, Dick, and Harry the same thing in a script, tell Tom and let’s assume Dick and Harry were told off camera.
*Finally, have you over explained/over described anything. Many well-intended writers make the mistake of being so thorough that they actually end up achieving the opposite thing--confusing the reader. “Say it small, make it clear, then get onto the next thing”.
If you apply the above procedure, the following usually happens: as you go page by page, parts that used to seem like meat begin to look like fat and the need to trim becomes obvious. What you once fought tooth and nail to “protect” actually becomes dispensable. A pleasurable game has been hatched--the game of honing and focusing.
The big thrill comes when you get to the last page because you now get to print out the new draft. Inevitably, it’s tighter, more plot-oriented, better paced--a better read--and you’re thrilled. Dollars to donuts, it whets your appetite for additional economies. You have reduced the script not only in length but also in the amount of words distributed on the pages. Most of what’s left has now become more relevant because it has survived the cut. Thus, in a way, it takes on extra credibility. It belongs on the page!
Without too much art, you have improved your script by a good 25%. And you have finally realized how profoundly important LESS is.
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Our “WORKS IN PROGRESS” service continues to thrive. (http://www.hollywoodscript.com/WIP.html )
As many of you already know, WIP is an intense, personal, "one on one" developmental experience which takes many forms depending upon your needs. It’s tailored for writers who want deep help EARLY in the writing process or BEFORE the script is even started. Works in progress can be used for writers who need help choosing projects, developing projects, and revising strategies even after the script is written.
New tangents for WIP have evolved. For example, we have several clients, who, after developing the battle plan/outline/blueprint for the script (with us), commence the writing and send us every 20 pages or so for IMMEDIATE notes. In that way, they get valuable feedback and instant attention on things that may not work and could affect the script down the line. It also gives them a ‘hand to hold’ as they go through the daunting process of making their dream come to life.
By the way, this type of interfacing is totally common in professional circles. Pro writers often have a support system comprised of development executives, producers, creative agents, and fellow writers. Writers spec-ing on their own often have no one knowledgeable on their team and that can be a critical problem. We hope to help, fill that gap. It can cut down on aggravation and anxiety and help make the finish line a lot closer.
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LAYERING
In our recent article WHO SAYS THAT YOU CAN’T TELL THE DIRECTOR WHAT TO DO , we fervently encourage writers to use “stage directions” to enhance scenes via use of body language (“they lock eyes,” ”her hands start to tremble,” “sweat begins to form on his brow,” etc).
Another technique to utilize in this arena is known as LAYERING.
Layering simply means adding an action component to an otherwise static scene. Here’s an example: let’s say that you HAVE to write a scene in which two guys have a conversation in a bar. As a savvy writer, you already realize that you’re starting off with one arm tied behind your back. After all, talking heads and exposition does not usually make great entertainment.
You need to come up with an angle.
So you decide to have these lads play a killer game of pool as they ‘chat.’ In the tradition of “The Color of Money” and “The Hustler,” they play like it’s going out of style. The subtext is clear-- who’s the biggest, baddest cat?
The game itself is exciting; nip and tuck right to the very end. The moves are hot, the competition thick. There’s a sense that there’s much more at stake underneath it all. During the game, as they light up their butts, sip their drinks, and chalk their sticks, they espouse the info that they needed to convey to begin with. The repartee comes almost as afterthoughts, spurts here and there, and is completely subordinated by the pool game.
The scene is a winner. Everyone thinks it’s about the competition, you know it was totally about the needed exposition.
That’s layering.
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DON'T GET SWEPT AWAY
As mentioned in the last newsletter, just when you thought SPAMMING couldn’t get any worse, it’s gotten worse. Please, when you send us email, make sure that the SUBJECT LINE is clear that what you’re writing about pertains to matters involving screenwriting.
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YOU GOTTA KNOW WHEN TO SHOW EM
If you read enough scripts, you’ll discover all kinds of trends in contemporary writing, both big and small --from how many people out there are trying to write the next Sixth Sense, all the way to how many people think the word “lose” is spelled loose (you wouldn’t believe how many!)
Here’s another one. There are a whole crop of writers out there who are allergic to disclosing enough information so that reading their script cogently is possible.
Many writers are so anxious to surprise you on page 120 that they employ the dubious technique of telling you the absolute minimum on pages 1-119.
They call it suspense. I call it omission.
There is a big difference between the two.
There is nothing wrong with teasing the audience and making them want to know more. Nor is there anything wrong with red herrings and scenes that end on a precipice and make you wait. These are tried and true techniques. But you’ve got to throw your reader a bone here and there SO THAT THE LEVEL OF CONFUSION DOESN’T BECOME THE DOMINATING EXPERIENCE IN READING THE SCRIPT. And the bone cannot be buried to deeply that a Geiger counter is needed to detect it.
Now many writers are sensitive to this issue and can usually site a famous movie which in their mind justifies this dubious approach. I tell them this: “There is hardly a situation in any movie, dysfunctional or otherwise, that can’t be justified by some movie somewhere that got away with it. I urge them to think about the other 2000 movies that didn’t!
The bottom line is this: If you save everything for the end, you stand a chance of having so alienated the confused reader that, by the time they get to the big disclosure, it no longer matters.”
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WHEN YOU GET TO THE “MAJORS”
I had a conference with a client last week whose script was reaching a mature and very encouraging level of development. We both realized that the script was beginning to work--big time. We were both excited about it and couldn't wait to see what would happen in the marketplace. But I threw this talented writer one cautionary note-- NOT SO FAST. I made the following point that I want to share with you.
When you reach the major leagues you encounter a whole new level of competition. Think about it. In the actual game of baseball, players who reach the “bigs” are invariably considered novices. The label Rookie has its implications. They are now competing with the best and the brightest out there. The competition is top grade--in a way, IT’S A WHOLE NEW BALLGAME.
Well, it can be the same when it comes to screenwriting. When the script is beginning to percolate, and your heart is beating hard because you know you're in range, it's often time to have one "last" good look and make sure all the T's are crossed and the I's are dotted. Does the script need a few inches more in the department of tightening? Have you maxed out on the big scenes, or would a tweak or two take a double and turn it into a home run? Do all scenes including the "small ones" have their own intrinsic element of magic? Bottom line-can "good" be made even better?
The point I'm making is this. In sports inches really count. So when you're sitting on a pot of gold, you might want to give it a little extra polish before taking it to the bank. You’re now competing with the “big guys and gals”--and I promise you that they’re putting in extra time on the finishing touches as well.
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A MEDITATION
THE MATERIAL’S OUT THERE, A CALM LAKE WAITING FOR US TO DIVE IN.
Beverly Lowry
There is no lack of stories. Material for writing is abundant. We stand as if on the edge of a great sea of creative material, dipping in one toe-or perhaps planning to come back tomorrow, when we will be better equipped in some way to explore it.
The only way to write is to dive in. Everything else will follow- shape, meaning, detail.
How many gifted people have lingered on the shore, spinning dreams of the things they would write when they had time, material, or inspiration to enter the water.
When you have swum out a little way, you will be able to look back and see them watching you from the shore.
This is from WALKING ON ALLIGATORS by Susan Shaughnessy.
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A THOUGHT ABOUT QUERIES
My view with queries is NOT to send it logline/synopsis style. By formatting it that way it may take away from the REALITY that you're trying to create even in this one page letter. You want people to become emotionally affected by your thesis and sucked into the flow. When they're reminded that it's just a pitch via ‘formatting’ you may lose a tad of punch. In other words, say it like it's REAL!
ALSO
Pitch one project at a time My belief is when you attempt to sell more than one in the same letter, it takes away from both. Agents and producers respect the passion involved in a single "it's all or nothing" type creative venture. They want the writer to be obsessed with their project and, when more than one is offered, they can get cynical about SELLING being the primary concern.
Pitching one at a time will also allow you to provide more info about the project that you choose to pitch.
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MORE GOOD INFO FROM OUR H’WOOD WRITING BUDDY, MARK MILLER
who found this listing on Netsurfer Digest (www.netsurf.com)
Script-Mania
A fourth-draft script of Robocop - need it? If you're a scriptwriter, it might teach you something, like many of the other scripts available through Simply Scripts. This portal specializes in links to scripts that are not final drafts - the FAQ explains why. TV writers will find links to scripts for familiar shows ("Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Roswell", for example) and bombs (such as "Depressed Roomies" and "Rambling Pants"). Writers in love with movies have a larger selection that includes a transcript of "The Matrix: Reloaded". In addition to the main fare, other resources such as screenwriting software, as well as contests, are brought to light. A discussion board was recently added to the site. There are reviews of about 25 movies and a section each on musicals, plays, and unproduced scripts in major Hollywood genres. Just remember that if you sell a major script, you heard it from us.
http://www.simplyscripts.com/
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SCRIPTBLASTER
(http://www.scriptblaster.com) Among offering other important services, SCRIPTBLASTER has an incredibly vast data base of producers, agents, managers and the like. They can zap your coverage or query directly into the hands of many viable Hollywood producers, agents, managers etc. A unique feature is that the emails will be generated from your own personal email so industry professionals will respond directly to you.
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