HOLLYWOODSCRIPT.COM NEWSLETTER
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Welcome to the latest edition of Hollywoodscript.com Newsletter, which is published by script consultants Craig Kellem, Judy Kellem
(http://www.hollywoodscript.com)
THIS NEWSLETTER IS NEVER SPAM.
You are receiving this newsletter because you expressed an interest in screenwriting by subscribing to this newsletter OR requested a read or a free query letter evaluation from Hollywoodscript.Com(s) Craig Kellem or Judy Kellem.
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The purpose of this newsletter is to share information, ideas etc. concerning the fascinating (and elusive) world of screenwriting.
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LET'S GET PERSONAL
Most of the articles that Judy and I share with you guys have to do with the techniques of screenwriting, marketing, and related areas. We rarely get personal about ourselves. Judy's turn will come down the line but, in this issue, I wanted to tell you something about my own creative journey since a creative journey is what most of you are on. Perhaps we can relate.
At one time I represented talent for a living. I was an agent at what is now ICM, one of the three biggest agencies in the world. My job was to get clients of the agency on TV and to "discover" new talent. The agency represented people like Barbra Streisand, Richard Pryor, Jodie Foster, Diana Ross, Liza Minnelli--the list goes on and on. I represented them as well and signed many great talents such as George Carlin, the rock group Spanky & our Gang, and also production organizations through which we "packaged" TV shows. I lived for my clients and derived great pleasure and profit from their successes.
After an exciting and wholesome experience as an agent, I went to work for Lorne Michaels, whom I met while packaging Lily Tomlin specials for CBS (for the agency). Although this was not a great time in my life, (my mid life crisis came early), I still had the rich experience of being part of the launching of SNL, and also produced other projects for Lorne like the infamous movie, The Rutles.
With all of this splendid experience, you'd think that I would have been satisfied (and I should have been). But I always had a longing to be "more creative" and felt hungry and wanting when I observed certain people around me, particularly writers.
With all my experience and savvy, I didn't have a clue what to do about it. The notion that there were special people out there who had "talent" and others like me who did not permeated my sagging belief system.
The heart is a lonely hunter.
So, after leaving New York and coming back to LA, I longed to try something new. This was to be a very fertile time for me, but I didn't know it at the time.
I had a friendship with a guy who was skilled at "coaching" people. After constantly hearing about my unfocused ambitions, he gave me some serious professional advice. It was to change my life!
His first suggestion was that I simply list my goals.
GOALS?!
What goals? Never stopped to consider them since I was always going too fast. "Let's skip that," I retorted and "cut to the chase." He pointed out that "cutting to the chase" had its limitations and sent me home to work. HIS way.
OK, OK-- I scratched it out. Goals--immediate ones; intermediate ones; then the long-range, "sky's the limit" batch. Sounds easy, huh? Well, it is until you actually employ this method and then sit back and look at what you really want in your life. Here it was, on a big chart and in my face. It was there for all the world to see, especially me. What my heart ached for was finally documented.
And that was just the beginning. Goals don’t mean much, he pointed out, without methods to achieve them. So he had me identify timetables for achieving them and methods of identifying progress. Hmm..it was getting serious. I suddenly had lots of things to do. And most of them scared me silly because facing what you really want creates beaucoup stress.
I went to work...reluctantly. Since many of my goals reflected the yearning to develop ideas, I started to list them on index cards etc. I had only a few at first. More came as I gestated. So I was suddenly cast into the role of an “idea guy.” I had always been one but never acknowledged it. But it was hard to deny it once I had adopted this new enterprise. After a couple of weeks I had a few decent notions. But it was time to do something else --my impatience and resistance started to seep in. I wanted to cut to the chase again.
No way. I was just beginning. My friend told me that what I needed to do was to work "thickly." I didn't like the sound of the metaphor. It sounded like real work.
This guy was much bigger than me so I had no choice but to continue.
My daily diet was pumping out ideas and developing them. Each day I tended to them and to my surprise --they grew. I was getting hooked.
My friend had other activities in mind for me that would be instrumental in building momentum. He suggested that I join a little acting group as an adjunct to the writing process. I later discovered that acting can be a great complement to writing because it gives you a very visceral sense of dialogue, etc. Acting!! Hey man I was an ex-agent. Ain't nothin’ more oxymoronic than an agent who gets on stage.
Talk about busting an image!
The man was relentless. He wanted more.
Next, he suggested that I identify myself as a writer. Forget it! No way!! This was a felonious notion.
But he persisted, pushing me to embrace the self-declaration of being a writer and, though I resisted letting the words leave my mouth, each and every day I continued to ACT like a writer. Forging ahead however imperfectly.
Well, as John Lennon used to say, "life is what you're doing when you're making other plans." My plan was to try this, probably fail and then escape. But what I was actually doing was acquainting myself with my writer's soul and pumping out the goods. Capably!
Developing ideas is an interesting activity. Two things happen when you do it on a regular basis. One is that your relationship with your subconscious and your “creative guide” gets keener and ideas begin to flow. You begin to “write on the walls.” The other is that as you grow ideas, some take flight as if on their own.
This is powerful stuff.
Without going through every detail of the process, at some magical moment in this year-long enterprise, I crossed a bridge without realizing it. My desire to "become creative" had happened. The criterion for this was not the one I thought it would be --namely someone else's acknowledgement; the town's acknowledgement; the Academy's acknowledgement etc. It was simply about what I was actually doing and how I felt about myself. I HAD BECOME THE THING THAT I WANTED TO BECOME SIMPLY BECAUSE I WAS DOING IT!
Even when I started submitting stuff and received the inevitable turndowns, I was too on fire to let it matter very much. There was always another page to rewrite, or material to Xerox or something to dream about.
One project in particular seemed to “want to happen.” It was a TV idea about a bunch of "reporters in jeans" who went around the country in a rock n roll kind of bus, hanging out and reporting on hip, contemporary and far out stories. This idea consumed me, and I began the painful process of seriously trying to make it happen. Talk about the impossible. In actual fact, I was just another unemployed, ex-somebody, wannabe burning with ambition but out of touch, in a way, with reality. But I knew one thing about the biz: all successes are predicated on miracles.
And indeed, it would take a miracle to make something happen with this project which, by this time, was just about the most important thing that I could identify in the Universe.
I believe that if you try hard enough and that if the dream is worthy, and if cosmic powers wants it to be, it will be. I had had experiences in my life which had already reflected this. And I also knew that it's hard to beat a guy who's pumping it out every day and trying to do the next "right thing."
Synchronicity was coming my way. NBC was looking for a reality show and a producer they contacted had heard about my fully developed project. (This was due to the dreaded networking imposed on me by my friend). One thing led to another --we got a shot to pitch it.
We just missed selling this show. By the time we arrived the network had bought something similar. Oh well.
But the momentum of wild industry and zeal was still resonating and manifested concretely when my partner happened to tell me about a development job at Fox. More synchronicity!
In a zillion years I would have never thought of myself in connection with development because I had never considered myself a creative person--that was until now.
Hey baby, just give me a paintbrush. Creative! Are you joking?! I'll show you creative!
When I went for the interview I was bursting with creative energy. Despite the fact that I was still collecting unemployment, I was full of myself and could talk turkey with the powers that be. What a change it was. Guess what, I got the job.
Once in the new pilot seat and with a lot of help from other creative people (with whom I had only imagined working during these “grand and desperate” development days), I got the show (which had so burned in my heart) on the air. It was a late night pilot that only aired once but it was received nicely and it launched a new career. (It's a great story how it all went down, I wish I had the space. Suffice it to say that it was the thrill of thrills).
The point of it all is this: I had learned how to mount a crusade and "work a program" fueled by my greatest dreams. This came through stating goals, taking chances, changing personas, being willing to be extremely uncomfortable, and working my butt off.
One other mighty thing was also acquired in this process--discipline. At the time the D word was not quite in my vocabulary. I had always struggled with my share of procrastination. In Scott Peck's classic book "The Road Less Traveled," he points out that some problems are solved by some discipline, and all problems are solved by total discipline. He's right. Through this STRUCTURE that had been so generously created for me, I began to dismount the resistances that had haunted me my whole life. What a change. And I now found myself in the company of people I had long admired who never seemed to fight themselves in the pursuit of doing what they needed to do to succeed. Holy s----, I was like them!
Instinctively I realized that this was a source of power that was limitless. I have used this model for many years now. And it has paid off in spades.
I wanted to share this with you, to bear in mind, as you realize your own creative pursuits. For me, this magical and cathartic time changed my life forever. Out of it grew subsequent development jobs at Universal, writing and producing credits, and a deep sense of completeness and satisfaction. It also steered me into a kind of life's work capper--working with other writers and helping them realize their dreams.
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GOOD NEWS FROM OUR LAST CONTEST WINNER
Craig - Just a note to let you know how things are going. Thanks to hollywoodscript.com I've received 20 requests to see the project AND 5
agents have contacted me, PLUS, 4 distributors have contacted us about the film. I can't thank you enough. Be sure that you will be getting my next project for review.
All the best.
Dan DeLuca
Two Minute Heist
THAT'S 29 INDUSTRY HONCOS WHO WILL READ DAN’S SCRIPT FOLKS!
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BILL PHILLIPS is a professor at Dartmouth College and also a prolific and accomplished author and screenwriter. He's been kind enough to contribute the following essay for our newsletter. It's all about the classic Academy Award winning film, "On The Waterfront" which he and many others consider to be, if not the greatest, one of the greatest films of all time. What's interesting about this piece is that it offers a concise skeletal look of a film broken down into its elements which is a terrific model for those who are trying to get a grasp on how the basics lay out. We're very grateful for Professor Phillip’s contribution. This is the first part of a longer essay. The entire article (and the author’s bio) can be found at http://www.hollywoodscript.com/goodies.html
ON THE WATERFRONT
PREMISE
An ex-prize fighter turned longshoreman struggles to stand up to his corrupt union bosses.
The Screenplay of ON THE WATERFRONT
Essay by Bill Phillips
This essay looks at Budd Schulberg's script for On the Waterfront. The script doesn't have anything to prove. It won Best Screenplay for 1952. The film won 7 other Oscars. It holds up well almost 50 years later. By any reasonable criteria, script and film are total successes. I am primarily a screenwriter (major studios, networks, cable), secondarily a screenwriting teacher. I got hooked on films like this one when in college. They lured many of us into this insane business. Why? Because telling stories is a lot of fun! On the Waterfront is my favorite film. I've seen it 75 times. So my approach is not scholarly, it's practical, the love of a script better than any I've ever written... (although I still try.) In case that statement sounds overly modest, please realize that, in my opinion, no one hams written a script better than On the Waterfront.
WHY STUDY ON THE WATERFRONT?
In the first section of this essay, I want to test the relevance of common screenwriting learning approaches against this project. When Schulberg wrote this, there were no film majors, no MFA screenwriting programs, no self-proclaimed script gurus, no script software. Then, people worked on "the great American novel," not "the great American screenplay." Today, 100,000 scripts/year are written, most employing some of these aids. Most scripts are bad; a few are good. What can Waterfront show us about the efficacy of learning techniques?
In the second section of this essay, I'll examine why this film has held up so well over the years.
In the third section, I'll look at differences between various script drafts and the film. Scripts are known as blueprints. Much is often contributed by othîers after the writer's done. The director, actors, technicians, executives and friends often contribute creatively to a finished film.
Last let's look at favorite moments, some scripted, some invented by others involved with the project. This in no way diminishes the script. Good scripts can let others embellish.
But let me say what I tell every writing student: "It's always bad before it's good." Ernest Hemingway said it more colorfully: "The first draft of anything is shit." If would-be writers learn one thing, it should be that writing is hard work; it's rarely inspiration. Good writing means rewriting.
I was thrilled to read "Crime on the Waterfront," labelled as "Final Draft" (how naive we all are that our work is ever through) dated 4/14/51. (1) (The script is on microfilm in the Schulberg files in Special Collections at Dartmouth College's Baker Library.) This didn't even have the Brando character in it! It did have a waterfront priest prominent in the story, Father Monahan. He is the result of Schulberg's research, based on the Malcolm Johnson Pulitzer Prize-winning articles. He actually found a priest like this, who frequently took his life in his hands to help the longshoremen in their struggle against the mob. Most films make a long trek from initial concept to finished product. Waterfront was no exception.
First, let's view the script from a writing student's point-of-view (using the finished film as our text). Most writing instruction encourages:
A.) A COMPREHENSIBLE STORY: Coherent Beginning, Middle and End. Some teachers prefer a traditional 3-Act Structure, while some insist on multiple acts. We'll do both.
B.) GOOD CHARACTERS:
1.) Sympathetic protagonist with well-defined needs & flaws.
2.) Worthy antagonist (with needs, flaws, attributes.)
3.) Love-interest suitable to the protagonisêt and the story.
4.) Colorful and interesting Secondary Characters.
5.) Backstory for every major character.
6.) Character arcs for every major character.
C.) GOOD DIALOGUE:
1.) Original, believable, not cliched
2.) Varied voices
3.) Not expository or "on the nose"
4.) Not excessive or "speechy"
D.) Adequate and entertaining "action"
A. COMPREHENSIBLE STORY
Film is a mass medium. It must reach many viewers, not an esoteric few. Some scripts (and films) simply make little sense. This is sometimes confused with creativity, but usually just by the artist involved. On the Waterfront never suffers from this. The story of corruption on the New York Waterfront of the 50s, it is told with a sense of authenticity and close attention to dramatic basics.
BEGINNING, MIDDLE AND END (STRUCTURE)
The Writers Guild of America looks closely at two criteria when they must judge a writer's worthiness for screen credit during a credits arbitration: structure and dialogue.
SCENES (STRUCTURE)
Many films have 50-80 scenes. I tell students to have at least 30 to ensure sustaining feature length. (A scene changes when the story moves to a new location. For example, in Waterfront, Joey being pushed off the roof is a scene. The next scene is the thugs standing with Terry, noticing someone just fell.) This 30-scene minimum is just simple math. 30 X 4
= 120 pages, standard script length. If you don't have at
least 30 scenes, you don't have a feature. Waterfront has 36.
1) Thugs leave Johnny Friendly's office.
2) Terry calls Joey to get his bird. On the roof, thugs wait.
3) Terry joins Johnny's cronies nearby, including Charley.
4) Joey "falls" off the roof.
5) Terry is surprised Joey got killed. Charley shrugs it off.
6) Cops and Edie Doyle and Father Barry reach dead Joey.
7) Johnny Friendly's bar. Payday.
8) On the roof witjh the Terry's pigeons. Meet teenager Tom.
9) Terry tussles w/Edie, Barry invites others to the church.
10) Terry loafs in the loft. Charley asks him to spy.
11) The church meeting. The mob breaks it up.
12) Terry walks Edie home, remembers her from school days.
13) Pops Doyle is upset with Edie for seeing Terry.
14) Edie visits Terry on roof. They discuss raising pigeons.
15) Terry/Edie to bar. He's subpoenaed. Edie calls him a bum.
16) Johnny/Charley accost Terry for failing to report Dugan.
17) Kayo Dugan gets killed in a loading "accident."
18) Barry draws comparison between Dugan and the crucifixion.
19) Roof: Edie to Terry, gives him Joey's jacket. They kiss.
20) Terry tries to confess to Barry, who says, "tell Edie."
21) Outside church, Terry tells Edie. She runs off.
22) Roof. Cop finds Terry, discusses his fixed fight.
23) JP tells Johnny he saw Terry wi:th a cop.
24) Famous cab scene. "I coulda been a contender."
25) Terry breaks into Edie's place, is called out by thugs.
26) Terry saves Edie, sees Charley hanging on grappling hook.
27) Barry finds Terry after Friendly, suggests he testify.
28) Court. Terry testifies. Big Boss watches on T.V.
29) Terry suffers for breaking waterfront code by talking.
30) Terry finds his birds killed, needs to see Friendly.
31) At the docks, everyone works today except Terry.
32) His underlings comment on Friendly's newspaper photo.
33) Mack hires any bum he can find, but not Terry.
34) Johnny takes away thugs' guns. They must be careful.
35) Terry fights Friendly. Thugs take care of Terry.
36) Barry helps Terry stand. "If Terry works, we'll work!"
ACTS (STRUCTURE)
The traditional 3-Act structure can be simply defined as Beginning, Middle, End (Act 1, Act 2, Act 3). In Waterfront: Act One begins when Terry unwittingly sets up Joey's murder. Thugs want to be sure he doesn't go to the cops, so they kill him. Terry's brother, Charley, can't assuage his guilt.
Act Two begins when Terry's smitten with Joey's sister, Edie. She wants to find Joey's killer. Cognitive dissonance sets in. He questions his previous involvement with the mob. "There's more to this than I thought, Charley. I'm telling you, there's a lot more."
Act Three begins when Charley, unable to reign in Terry, is killed by the mob, a signal that they aren't kidding around. The same will happen to Terry if he talks. This begins Terry's war with the mob, resolved in the last scene.
Many writers employ 3-Acts simply to survive script meetings with minimum scratches. "In Act One, this happens. In Act Two, this happens. In Act Three, this happens." Some writers complain that executives have short attention spans and say the 3-Act structure caters to that need. But there is another reason for this. If you can tell a story in 3 sentences, it can be advertised succinctly. The millions these executives are responsible for stand a better chance of being recouped if the story lends itself to a quick description. Better, if you can state your movie in one sentence, it can readily be put on a movie poster. That's High Concept.
There are producers, like James L. Brooks with Terms of Endearment, who prefer "Low Concept." Try telling that film's premise in a sentence. Now try telling the premise to Jaws. "Man-eating shark menaces an oceanside town during tourist season." That's High Concept. It's easier to sell.
Some screenwriting professors dislike the 3-Act structure. It can be formulaic, it can encourage students to take a path of least resistance in planning scripts, it often leads to the 60-page wasteland of Act 2, and it's sometimes dramatically inadequate compared to a more ambitious "many act" structure. So let's view On the Waterfront differently.
Let's call it Eight Acts.
(This does not change the content of the script... it simply allows the writer to be more aware of dramatic blocks.)
Act 1. Joey falls off roof. Edie criticizes Barry for staying in church rather than getting engaged with workers' issues.
Act 2. At the docks, Terry tussles with Edie. Father Barry suggests the disenfranchised meet in the church.
Act 3. Terry goes .to the church to spy, rescues Edie from the mob. In the park, he says, "You grew up very nice."
Act 4. Pops scolds Edie for spending time with Terry. Terry takes Edie to a bar, wants to help, but "can't." He's subpoenaed. She calls Terry a bum. Johnny scolds him for not reporting what happened at the church. Dugan testified.
Act 5. Dugan killed in "accident." Barry hit by a thrown can; Terry punches thrower. Friendly suspects Terry's loyalty.
Act 6. Terry to Barry to confess. He urges him to tell Edie. He tells her amidst ship whistles. Bereft, she runs off.
Act 7. Charley pleads Terry's case to Friendly, doesn't get far. Famous cab scene. Terry goes to Edie's, mob guys call for him, he finds Charley killed, vows revenge, searches for Friendly. Barry says the way to hurt Friendly is to testify.
Act 8. Terry testifies, finds pigeons dead, goes to docks to get Friendly. The fight. All resume work, Terry triumphant. Although there are the same number of scenes whether 3 or "many acts," the latter lets you describe more points of action, making the story more complex (in planning) and letting you write shorter action spans before something crucial happens. It's an artificial difference, since nothing changes in content of the script, but it lets you describe things with more complexity, useful to novice writers.
B.) GOOD CHARACTERS
SYMPATHETIC PROTAGONIST (WELL-DEFINED NEEDS & FLAWS) Not every film includes a sympathetic protagonist, but most do. You want a sympathetic protagonist so the audience will root for someone. You don't want the audience to feel, "Who cares?" They'd better care, (or they won't keep watching (or reading). Several characteristics make Terry Malloy
sympathetic:
1) His participation in Joey's death was unintentional. He'd be harder to like if he had known what was going to happen.
2) He's a lovable lug. Despite being uneducated, he had a chance to become a boxing champ. Having a tough childhoodand being victimized by mob greed further endears him to us.
3) An inept but charming lover, he woos Edie as a Neanderthal with a heart of gold who realizes there's a better life to be had with a classy dame. We generally like that character.
4) Affection between him and brother Charley is admirable.
5) He's a good boxer, useful in a hero if he's reluctant to use it until forced to. When he must perform, we love that.
6) This is an often-used cheat: Terry is handsome.K (Young Brando.) Novice writers are told NOT to have sympathy rely on getting a handsome actor, but here, this can't be ignored.
WELL-DEFINED CHARACTER NEED
Terry doesn't want to be called a bum. Ever since he took a fall in a mob-fixed fight years ago, he has wanted to reclaim his self-respect, what Kazan addresses as his "dignity." This makes his fight at the end inevitable.
CHARACTER FLAWS
Terry's flaws make him human, let us sympathize with him. He can't help that his childhood led him into a life of crime and corruption. It isn't until he is inspired by Edie and Barry that he tries to do better with his life. If he didn't have these flaws, he'd have nowhere dramatically to move.
WORTHY ANTAGONIST (CLEAR NEEDS, FLAWS, ATTRIBUTES)
Friendly doesn't suffer disloyalty lightly, has Joey thrown off the roof, humiliates Skins, has Dug|an and Charley killed. He's paranoid, street-smart, "earned" his lofty position. He shows Terry a scar he got coming up through the ranks. Friendly's character need is simple: to remain in charge. We're given specifics about the financial incentive for this. Friendly's flaws are evident. It's a basic tenet of good drama that no bad guy wakes up thinking, "How can I be bad today?" (Unless it's a parody like Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers films). So it is useful to invent attributes that soften his "badness," make him human. He gives the $50 he gets back from Skins to Terry... a reward for his loyalty. He makes sure Terry gets a cushy position in the loft at work, again showing generosity for loyalty.
A LOVE-INTEREST SUITABLE TO THE PROTAGONIST & THE STORY
Edie just wants to find her brother's killer. This makes her more attractive, because the romance she gets isn't what she's seeking. She's also relatively protected. Her dad is a dockworker, but he and his deceased wife have saved to allow her to escape the tribulations of this kind of life. When Edie gets involved with Terry, two things happen: 1) she gets involved with someone she's known since grade school and 2) she gets involved with someone from the "other side of the tracks." It helps that it's Brando, but the script further helps, because Terry's character is sympathetic, regardless of looks. Edie propels the story. If she weren't trying to uncover Joey's killers, there wouldn't be a story.
The entire article (and the author’s bio) can be found at http://www.hollywoodscript.com/goodies.html (Note: if it’s not there yet it will be there shortly)
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A QUESTION WE'RE GETTING FROM MANY ABOUT OUR MONTHLY CONTEST:
Q-Should a script be submitted only for the contest itself?
A-The contest is simply a wonderful extra added attraction for consultation clients. I wouldn't necessarily sign up for the contest unless you feel a need to have your script (or revision) professionally read, evaluated etc. However, on the other hand, if you honestly believe that your script's in great shape and would be a contender then submitting might be a good idea.
But our experience is this. Most scripts need serious (and risk free feedback) before marketing should be attempted. And the extra inches count! So it's could be a good move to have someone look the script over just one more time and the contest is a really good perk.
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WE LOVE THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Wow Judy, you are just too good!!
I really want to thank you for EVERYTHING. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your time and your "eyes" on my script. You gave me insight into my movie that even I didn't realize was there. Digging right in and finding the quirks that I don't think I would have allowed myself to see on my own. It's funny because I just happened to find your website and it has already made such a huge impact on me and my writing. I can't wait to work with you again. I'm can't decide which idea I want to write on next, so once I get there I'm sure I'll be back in touch with you again.
Take care & many, many thanks-
Emily (RacicER@aol.com)
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NOTES__
Folks, when you email us please be explicit on the SUBJECT LINE (make sure it’s in relation to writing issues etc) since the spam coming in is unbelieveable and we don’t want to inadvertantly delete your important message.
Also for those who wire in the fee, we just changed banks. Please contact us and we’ll provide you with the proper info.
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If you want to find out more about Hollywoodscript.com and the work we do with screenwriters and their scripts, please visit our site at http://www.hollywoodscript.com
Copyright 2003 Hollywoodscript.com LLC , all rights reserved.
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