HOLLYWOODSCRIPT.COM NEWSLETTER
Welcome to the latest edition of Hollywoodscript.com Newsletter which is published by script consultants Craig Kellem, Judy Kellem (http://www.hollywoodscript.com)
THIS NEWSLETTER IS NEVER SPAM.
You are receiving this newsletter because you expressed an interest in screenwriting by subscribing to this newsletter; requested a read or a free query letter evaluation from Hollywoodscript.Com(s) Craig Kellem or Judy Kellem, or requested a copy of Colin Chapman's screenplay, "Smoke and Mirrors" (http://www.chapmanfilm.com).
If you do not wish to receive this newsletter, please reply to this E-Mail and put the word "UNSUBSCRIBE" in the subject line.
The purpose of this newsletter is to share information, ideas etc. concerning the fascinating (and elusive) world of screenwriting.
_____________________________
THE HOLLYWOODSCRIPT.COM HOTLIST
Beginning at the end of August (for CLIENT scripts that we receive in August), we will supplement our Monthly contest by lavishly listing (on our site) scripts which we feel are promising AND READY. This of course will be done with the express permission of writers who want it and there will be a box in our release to authorize or refuse this. As we do with our contest, we will also (with the writer's permission) send these titles (along with a fat paragraph describing the project) to our extensive list of prospective producers, agents and managers for their perusal. As with the contest, these scripts must be on a viable creative level, because neither you nor we would benefit if we abused our contacts by recommending material that doesn't work or isn't ready. We have no idea what the response will be, but our contest (via site exposure and notification) has been red hot, with three of our last winners finding representation, and all of them receiving copious interest and response from the buying community.
We're doing this because we've been receiving some genuinely fine material, which, for various reasons, may not win the contest but deserves big time exposure.
(FYI, you're automatically submitted to the HOTLIST as well as to the MONTHLY CONTEST when you engage us to consult on your script AND check and initial the appropiate box on our release which you send in with the script)
One last thought, the Monthly Contest and the Hotlist are great but the basic service which we provide is still the main deal around here. Scripts that work are the best marketing tool. We help make that happen. We get a host of emails from satisfied writers who have been finalists in other contests, have been optioned, or in other ways are at the next stage of their screenwriting success.
____________________________
SO WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T TELL THE DIRECTOR WHAT TO DO?
Someone spread a rumor that you shouldn't tell directors and actors what to do.
Pshaw!
Best to let that doozy in one ear and out the other. Don't hesitate to use the very tool that can help make or break your script, (i.e. the stage directions).
What are they?
Physical actions/gestures/attitudes/reactions etc. described in narrative or parentheses that enhance subtext and cinematic action are called stage directions
Examples: "They lock eyes;" "He begins to sweat;" "They both blush;" "Their hands accidentally touch."
It's amazing how many well meaning and skilled screenwriters forego this key device, bypassing a crucial opportunity to build drama and mood into their scenes. We're sure the "no directions rule" was started with good intentions. Lengthy, pretentious descriptions and or excessive technical instructions are mind numbing and cumbersome. However, the writer's creative vision must be conveyed on the page and it is naive to think that this can be achieved through dialogue alone.
Just as in life we often say one thing but do another, throw empty or half true words around while allowing our actions to do the real talking. In a movie, much story evolution is not stated but REVEALED between the spoken lines. A reader should not be expected to grasp all dramatic development from straight dialogue. It is not always strong enough to transmit the core subtext. Readers need visual cues along the way. Nuances and gestures, the contradictions and seductions that undermine and create conflict between character lines cannot be entirely inferred from what's said. There must be some hand holding by the writer, some direction SHOWING the synergy between the spoken word and underlying intent.
A scene for example where two lovers are saying good bye at the train station and expressing their grief by arguing about the train schedule, derives its most important story value and dramatic impact via the deft descriptions of their eye contact or lack thereof, silences, lingering affections and teary glances as they yell at one another "It said seven o'clock !!" "No it didn't! It said ten!!"
Bottom line (pun intended): Make us WATCH the complexities of your characters unfold, make us feel the REAL stories developing scene to scene by including the visual cues that SHOW us what lies at the heart of the moment. Let us SEE how people say one thing but do another. Let us be the voyeurs we paid to be. How can a simple chat about the weather be the erotic high point of a romantic plot? The answer lingers not in the dialogue but around it.
Reminder: Cinema is a visual medium. We need to see the various human story levels operating in a given moment to feel the urgency of your script and fully sense how each sequence pushes the narrative forward. Stage directions do not need to be overwrought, long winded paragraphs. Just a note here and there to keep our attention trained on the screens in our heads. Makes all the difference.
_________________________
THE TWO TIMES YOUR CONCEPT IS IMPORTANT--BEWARE!
1. The first time is when you're developing your idea. Sounds obvious right? You'd be surprised how many well-intended writers come up with a notion, fail to think it out and work their fannies off only to discover that they shouldn't have "begun what they begun."
Examples: High concept ideas that don't have "legs" and would have trouble lasting as a four minute sketch on Saturday Night Live; one brilliant scene that the writer thinks can carry an entire film; situations or misplaced "plot" notions that are in fact only meaty enough to be a subplot at best and certainly won't carry the day; stuff that may be very meaningful in one's own life, but doesn't have the breadth and uniqueness to make the grade for a diverse audience.
2. The other time a concept is important is when you've finished the script, dotted the i's crossed the t's and now it's time to send it out. Assuming that the script is great, the veracity of your concept will now make or break you.
Beware of what you choose.
______________________________
LESS IS BETTER
Would you buy a stock (I know, it's an untimely example) which would gain in value by a quick thirty percent overnight. I'm sure you would. So would we. Do you want to enjoy the same dynamic with your script? You would. OK, then,WRITE IT TIGHT OR TRIM IT DOWN.
Less is almost always better in screenplays. Writing the "chateaubriand" of a scene is the name of the game, then cut away to the next fillet. Fat is a no no, a bit of gristle should be carefully doled out.
Ask any stand up comic how one minute extra can ruin a routine. Even people who write for the New York Times or the Washington Post are given a limit.. The limit is their friend!
Screenwriters in the know realize this and usually employ this philosophy and profit from it. But there are a boatload of scripts out there that are suffering from too much weight. Their stories are encumbered by so much rhetoric that it's hard to find the spine. If you can't find the spine, you can't find the story and that's bad news.
Screenplays are not real life, they only seem to be. Extended salutations and good-byes, descriptions of irrelevant detail, orders of breakfast, lunch and dinner, funny jokes some writers think might be funnier in triplicate, are all "death on the Nile."
We feel strongly about this.
In fact, when we push brevity and pace to writers it's not just for the script at hand it's for all material present and future. Nothing makes us happier than receiving that occasional call from a writer, a previous offender, who tells us that s/he just had the pleasure of going through the script, cutting long intros and outros ("get into a scene as late as possible and get out as soon as you can"), found three or four redundancies to eliminate, found a way to explain that long piece of exposition in half a page as opposed to three, or trimmed that narrative down a bit and then had the pleasure of printing out the new draft, discovering that it's now at its fighting weight and reads great. REMEMBER, IT'S NOT HOW LONG YOUR SCRIPT IS. IT'S HOW LONG IT SHOULD BE.
_______________________
REVISING FOR "DUMMIES"
I recently had a session with a writer client who had written a very good script. The phone consultation lasted about an hour and fifteen minutes, in which I gave him what I considered to be very important notes that would surely make his script even better. At the end of the session I detected a little trepidation in his voice and asked what was wrong.
He reported that although the notes sounded right on, he felt a bit overwhelmed about where to start and wanted the "writing for dummies instructions." (His term not mine). I felt for him. Been there myself!
I explained to him that there are very few note sessions in Hollywood or anywhere else that are not fairly extensive. It's just the way it is. Scripts need to be near perfect and that requires attention inch by inch, brick by brick and piece by piece. It can be an unruly process.
Professional writers know this and they take the long note sessions with a grain of salt. And in approaching the revision, they use this "trick"- they take it A DAY AT A TIME AND A PIECE AT A TIME!
It's a method that works.
Even the pros would be challenged if they chose to think about their work in totality. Scripts are hefty. Often your scene inventory is bulging with subplots, tangents, "runners" (ie: very short subplots) and the like. It's massive. It's hard to fully comprehend the totality of your creation.
So I told the writer what I tell most writers facing the same dilemma.
Start the revision process on the "blueprint"/planning level rather than the actual writing level by checking out each character's "arc." This method covers most of the "usual suspects" in script-blues and especially omnipresent story problems.
List the important scenes of a given story (one or two sentences for each scene) in chronological order.
For example, take MARY'S story:
1. MARY meets Bill in a parking lot after she runs over his foot.
2. In the ambulance on the way to the hospital they have an argument about who's fault it was. MARY departs in a huff.
3. Later, after he's discharged, he exits the hospital. MARY is waiting for him at the entrance with a picnic basket and a plan.
And so forth.
Once the arcs are completed, look them over. Look at each story on a microscopic level. Does it have a beginning, middle and end? Is it fat or skinny or just right? Is it balanced? Does it have a surprise or two? Does it have a pay-off? Has it fulfilled whatever thematic idea you're going for? Can you tell the story to someone clearly, confidently and without their eyes glazing over? Do the scenes work? Is it ready?
Seem simple huh? It is. But you'd be surprised how many unchecked stories have flaws and problems with logic, that could be fixed by this kind of scrutiny.
The magic of this approach is that LESS is better. Writers often resort to hearty rationalization during the difficult period of preparing or revising their script. They are surrounded by so much material that, when difficulty arrives, they always have their "greatest moments" to fall back on. Thus, it can be both healthy and delightfully frightening when you take your story down to the level of NAKED PLOT POINTS. No hilarious jokes inhibit your clarity. You don't have those five "can't miss" pages to admire and soothe you.
You're looking at your B story. It has seventeen scenes. Each scene is described in only a few words. There's no fat to inhibit the exam. It either works or it doesn't. YOU CAN SEE IT!!"
After launching this process, you will have various arcs of each and every story, large and small draped proudly on your wall, subject to scrutiny and adjustment. Like a general you get to inspect your troops, lined up, out in the open, readiness or lack thereof apparent. Your whole movie will be in front of your eyes. And you will be able to see it as if you had x-ray vision. The brown cards are Joe's story; the yellow cards are Joanne's and the "runner" is on the white cards that you threw in. And there's the act breaks--tent poles indicating plot twists -beginning, middle and end. What a sense of orchestration and order.
Story maladies can dramatically affect the potential of a screenplay; they're definitely the usual culprits. When a producer sits down to read the script and something is wrong, dollars to donuts it's story related and could have been prevented by deft preparation and scrutiny on the assembly line.
It will pay off.
To show you how this system works, I'm including partial breakdowns from a classic most people know, THE GODFATHER. Consider them exhibits A and B:
EXHIBIT A: MICHAEL IN SICILY ARC
(Michael has to leave the country and lay low after shooting a couple of guys including a police captain)
THE ARC
--Michael greets Don Tommasino (local gangster) as he gets out of his car. The Don tells him that Mike's enemies are aware of his presence in Sicily and warns him to be very careful.
--While walking to Corleone, Mike sees a beautiful girl and is hit with the "thunderbolt."
--In the town, Mike's bodyguards describe the girl to a cafe owner, named Vitelli, who quickly becomes furious with them. They realize that the girl is his daughter and try to leave, but Mike tells them to bring Vitelli to him. He explains who he is, and tells the man of his intention to marry his daughter. Vitelli realizes that Mike is an important man and agrees to have Mike meet the girl under the supervision of his family. Her name is Apollonia.
--At the first meeting, Mike presents Apollonia with an expensive gold chain, a clear signal that he wishes to marry her. At lunch, he looks at her and she strokes the chain around her neck. They smile at each other.
--Mike marries Apollonia in a traditional Sicilian ceremony.
--On their wedding night, we see their first kiss as they begin to make love.
--Months later, Mike is teaching Apollonia to drive a car around the driveway. It is clear that they are very much in love. Don Tommasino arrives and tells Mike of his brother Sonny's murder and advises him to move to a different villa. As Apollonia is about to pull the car around, Mike notices his bodyguard Fabrizzio slipping out of the gate. He realizes that something is amiss and yells to Apollonia to get out of the car. It is too late, and the car explodes.
EXHIBIT B: SONNY'S ARC
Sonny (eldest, wild and crazy son. In over his head after his father, The Godfather, is shot)
THE ARC
--During the wedding reception, Sonny notices some men copying license plate numbers in the parking lot. He becomes furious and approaches them, then realizes that they are FBI agents and he can't make them leave. He spits on their car, and on his way back to the party he grabs their camera and smashes it, then throws them some money on the ground.
--Sonny whispers into the ear of the maid of honor, Lucy, then walks away. She follows a minute later. Sonny's wife turns around and realizes that he is gone, and looks dejected. Meanwhile, in the house, the young girl follows Sonny upstairs. The Don tells Tom Hagen to get Sonny. Tom knocks on a door, and inside we see Sonny having sex with the girl. Tom tells him to come down and laughs.
--In the meeting between the Family and Sollozzo, Sonny slips up and shows his enthusiasm for the drug deal. After Sollozzo leaves, the Don scolds Sonny for being so stupid.
--After the Don has been shot, Sonny gets a call at home telling him that Tom Hagen has been captured and that he will return with Sollozzo's new proposition, and Sonny is advised to listen to Hagen.
--In a meeting with the caporegimes and Mike, Sonny tells Clemenza to kill the Don's bodyguard, Paulie, for betraying the Don.
--We learn that Sonny has started a war by killing Bruno Tattaglia in retaliation for the attempts on his father's life.
--In a meeting with Mike, Tom, and the caporegimes, Sonny tells Mike about Sollozzo's offer to meet with him, but says that he doesn't want to negotiate any longer. Mike offers to kill Sollozzo and McKluskey.
--Sonny leaves Lucy's apartment, kissing her on the way out, and is followed out of the building by several bodyguards. He goes to pick up Connie at her apartment, but when he arrives he sees that Carlo has been beating her. Sonny becomes irate and runs out of the apartment. He drives to the bookmaking operation that Carlo runs and beats him mercilessly in the street.
--Sonny's mother hands him the phone with a crying Connie on the other line.. Knowing that Carlo has beat her again, Sonny runs out of the house and speeds away, followed by bodyguards in another car. He is gunned down at a tollbooth in an obvious ambush.
__________________________
THE 2002 SCREENWRITING EXPO, Nov. 16th and 17th at the LA Convention Center, is an amazing value for writers. For $49.95, attendees receive a 2-day pass and access to: over 130 seminars given by the industry's best, a pitch fest with up to 30 producers and development execs, the first ever screenwriting tournament with cash prizes, a live auction of screenwriting products and services, a discount trade show, plus a FREE one-year subscription to Creative Screenwriting magazine.
Guests of honor include Keynote Speaker Bruce Joel Rubin (GHOST), David O. Russell (THREE KINGS), Frank Darabont (SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION), Scott Rosenberg (SPIDER-MAN), David Goyer (BLADE), Harlan Ellison, and Richard Matheson..
For complete details on this event visit www.screenwritingexpo.com.
__________________________
The next EVA PEEL'S SPEC SCRIPT PITCH SESSION takes place on Thursday, September 19, 2002, from 6:30 P to 9:30 P. At recent Pitch Sessions, participants had their scripts optioned by numerous companies, among them Lynda Obst Prods. at Paramount, and Patchwork Prods. at DreamWorks. They have also gotten real writing jobs for real money. The opportunities are real.. The Pitch Session costs $109, and it takes place at the OlympicCollection, 11301 Olympic Blvd., in West Los Angeles. For out of towners, Eva has made arrangements for hotel-room discounts. Eva's Pitch Sessions have been around for four years, and have a great reputation. For questions, or if you wish to reserve by credit card call Eva at 310-396-1662, or e-mail her at evapeel@earthlink.net. You can also mail a check to P.O. Box 1365, Santa Monica, CA 90406.
____________________
Don't miss ROAD TO PERDITION. I thought it was great!
____________________
If you want to find out more about Hollywoodscript.com and the work we do with screenwriters and their scripts, please
visit our site at http://www.hollywoodscript.com
Copyright 2002 Hollywoodscript.com LLC , all rights reserved.
[Back to Newsletters]
|
