Can-Can On The Countertop

CAN-CAN ON THE COUNTERTOP
by Joyce Capron

" Come on out! You're ready." Picture Craig Kellem opening a door and yelling
at me, in the closet, about my screenplay HAPPY, NORMAL.

If it wasn't for Craig, I'd still be scribbling in the dark with the mops and
boots. Unseen, unread. Until recently, only a handful of people knew I was a
writer--a writer giving voice to characters from the seedy neighborhoods of her
subconscious, a writer still at it in the face of long-term nonsuccess. Those
who knew of my obsession I made promise not to talk about it. Why add to my woe
by getting a reputation as a psycho?

When I got Craig's e-mail saying I'd won the contest, I felt like a roach must
feel, when you find one on a countertop and shine a light on it. Exposed. And
what would the roach do? Dance the can-can with all six little legs, until a
fatal dose of Raid shuts down her show? No, she'd run away. Obscurity is safe.

Notoriety is scary. My writing was private and now, it's out there. Queries
about HAPPY, NORMAL have gone out to hundreds of complete strangers. Egads.

So far, so good. No one's called me up at 2 a.m. saying "Your screenplay is
about to be shot." But I'm dancing in the spotlight, savoring the notion that
I'm on the brink of a satisfying career.

Forty-two producers have requested HAPPY, NORMAL, and only one sounds like a
creep. I'm still getting requests over two months after my win. My readers go
from indies making their first feature up to a guy in LA whose last picture had
a budget of fifty million dollars. Plus, I've found an agent.

To get to this point, I've had to sweat. I finished HAPPY, NORMAL a few months
ago and sent it out to Craig. He called it "raw material."

" If you want people to read it, you've got to make it readable," he said. He
pointed out places in the script where readers would find it hard to follow the
twists and turns of the plot, and passages where the emotional state of my
characters was not coming across, and scenes that went on too long or should be
cut entirely.

Craig is not easy to please.

That's good, because when he likes your stuff, his recommendation gets you read.
The ScriptBlaster e-query to producers, part of the prize, brought in nine
readers the first day. Others responded to Craig's e-mails to a select list of
producers and agents willing to consider new writers. Others contacted me after
seeing coverage of HAPPY, NORMAL on the HSC web site, or the listing on
InkTip.com, both part of the contest win package.

HSC script coverage is a useful selling tool. I send it with scripts. Readers
(typically, entry-level assistants) get stacks of stuff, and may not get around
to reading a script until weeks after they receive it. Once they pick it up,
the coverage reminds him/her what the story's about. If and when the assistant
passes the script on to the producer or agent, the coverage helps them explain
and promote the project to that person.

Overall, the HSC experience is about branching out. You go from writing alone
to writing with Craig. He asks tough questions that lead to tough rewrites.
" Why use this word?" "Why does that happen?" He considers every line, and you
can talk to him, argue with him. What he does is script development, the art of
incorporating other people's ideas into your own--because that's how movies get
made (unless you're an auteur). Filmmaking is a group thing. He also tells
you where the script needs to go, to make it marketable.

Craig tells me the process I've gone through is a rehearsal for what I will face
if and when I get a meeting with producers--a chance to pitch HAPPY, NORMAL to a
room full of people who ask tough questions. I can see myself there.

Will it be a party? Or a bug-crushing disappointment? We shall see.

joyce.capron
joyce.capron@bhawk.com