LAST WORD ON STAGE DIRECTIONS AND LAYERING


As most of you know, we are great proponents of the use of stage directions (i.e. notations on the script connoting body language, etc. ”They locked eyes,” “she began to sweat,” etc.). This practice includes cleverly constructed NARRATIVE usage as well: “Joey has loved her for years but had gotten nothing in return.”

Many screenwriting books eschew stage directions, but what they really want you to avoid are awkward and inflated technical instructions meant for the director. I certainly agree with that. But I believe that pages of pure dialogue without the garnishment of physicality (indicating subtext etc) just isn’t good enough. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

Let’s say that you have a scene where two young lovers are at a crowded train station. We can hear the train almost arriving. Our attractive twosome is having a huge argument about THE TRAIN SCHEDULE.

Now, we realize VIA KEY STAGE DIRECTIONS that what’s really happening is that they are so in love that they hate the idea of parting company and are projecting their anxiety via a stupid argument about the train schedule. So here’s my point: without stage directions indicating the nuances of their real feelings, THE SCENE WOULD BE ABOUT THE TRAIN SCHEDULE AND NOT MUCH ELSE.

--The stage directions/narrative can be as bold as follows:
*Joanne can’t bear to say goodbye.
*Bobby gulps down a tear only to discover another.
*Bobby channels his anxiety into another comment about the arrival time.
*They lock eyes fully knowing what the train whistle means.

And in a recent newsletter, we also wrote an article on the benefits of a practice called LAYERING, which is taking otherwise static, often talking-head type scenes, and creating concurrent action components to keep things moving. In the article, an example we used to illustrate this point was of two guys in a bar having a exposition-laden conversation. We suggested that this inevitably boring exchange could be pleasantly augmented by say adding a game of killer 8-ball for them to play. So while we (the audience) enjoy the drama of the game, the guys trickle out the needed exposition as they chalk their sticks and smoke.

Something like this could work like a charm as could even more sophisticated approaches. The following idea for a scene is an example of this and a model of how COMBINING EVENTS IN A SCENE can strengthen everything and give you a more memorable ride.

OK, let’s say that you have a scene where Jack is going to propose to Mary. You’ve already created a thread where every time he starts to spit it out, something comes up and interferes. So already you’ve given it some spin. So you now add to the piece by say putting them in a diner, and just as he’s ready to bring it up, he notices that there’s a bank robbery occurring across the street.

No way this is going to stop him.

So his mission is this: while he’s proposing, he also has to distract her from noticing the commotion across the street. So right now we’re getting three synergistic benefits.

1) the proposal
2) the tension involved as to whether or not he’ll finally make the proposal or something else will ruin it
3) the hijinx involved in him trying to distract her

And there’s one extra benefit. If the bank robbery is fun to watch, you’ve just added another layer.

Folks, it would be hard for any writer not to write a scene like this well.

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