A Hollywood Script Consultant

BUT IS IT ON THE PAGE?

By Craig Kellem

The mind is a funny thing. Sometimes what we perceive to be true is not true. This happens often with screenwriting when writers think that there’s something on the page that isn’t on the page. This malady is not reserved for wannabes. It happens with pros--a lot.

Recently, I was working with a writer who was adapting a classic novel into a screenplay. The project was being supported by the art division of a major studio. One of the characters, a key one in fact, (in the novel) had always been a bitch. Not just an ordinary bitch, but a real bitch--we’re talking Joan Crawford, Leona Helmsley.

After the first notes meeting, the studio (typically) wanted the writer to “soften” this character. Dutifully, the writer acquiesced--too much. Studio pressure can be formidable.

I knew nothing about this while reading the script, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that without this saltiness, this character would not be dynamic and the whole script could be adversely affected. I mean, when you’re writing a character flick and your characters are not percolating and, because of this, true dynamics are not occurring, there’s going to be a lot of aimless talking and you’re going to be in trouble.

So I gave the note to the writer--”the character needs to be more brittle and deliciously obnoxious.” She was not at all defensive, and she tweaked the material.

The problem was that the character was still muted in the next draft. The writer thought otherwise. We debated. What an issue! We were both reading the same pages and having different experiences.

Finally, the moment of truth came when we took the time to go page by page with only one criteria: “let’s see where she’s bitchy.”

It was actually an amusing experience because as we hunted through the material, it became apparent that it just wasn’t there. Only by looking at the evidence did she realize how seriously she had taken the studio note, and how ONLY IN HER OWN MIND AND HEART DID THE CHARACTER REMAIN A BITCH.

I guess the lesson here is obvious. Because we, as writers have such vivid perceptions and understandings of our own characters, we can easily assume that the nuances of personality which are so clear to us are just as clear to the reader. We must closely examine our manuscripts making sure what’s in our minds and hearts has actually been written.

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